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Making a difference>Making a mess

Don’t allow adversity to rattle your core

This month our back was against the wall. A large part of Sweat’s operating space was limited due to construction and we had to react accordingly. A handful of our clients began to voice displeasure over the aesthetics of our space. A couple of clients even canceled memberships because they couldn’t deal with life-altering adversity of an extra scarf in our lobby. I get it.  Life’s greatest battles come in all shapes and forms.  We adjusted by moving what we could to storage. We took all necessary steps to protect our functionality as a company. The rest would involve weathering the storm….and not letting a little adversity change our core.

It’s easy to make a difference when it’s convenient and comfortable. It’s easy to give a dollar when you have many. It’s hard to give a dollar when it’s your last. It’s much more challenging to make a difference when you are facing your own day-to-day challenges.

“Thank you” to everyone at Sweat who decided to participate in this month’s coat drive. This picture is from the first load of coats that Ali was able to drop off a Paul’s Place.  I am proud of our clients and our staff for standing strong and making a difference no matter what. Back when I played basketball, I always valued my teammates based on how we responded to adversity. When we were cold, playing out of control or losing, I always looked for the guys who were willing to lock in with me, persevere and find any way to win. I wanted to rock with the guys who would never forget who we were…especially when the chips were down. I would also look for the guys on my team who would buckle under adversity by pointing fingers, complaining, blaming the refs or straight up quitting.

These past few months have taught me a lot about myself  I’ve learned a lot about you, too.  Respect and love to the people who decided to lock in and stay true when things weren’t smooth.

I can rock with that.

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As you were

The wild thing about this world is that it will constantly change, but it so badly wants you to stay the exact same.  Of course, people will say that they are happy for your progress/growth/success…..but only so much that you are at the same place doing the same thing at the same time tomorrow.  For most, the perceived promised land is Groundhog Day: The same day repeating continuously until the end of time.  The expectation is that there is a binding unwritten agreement that you will reach success/happiness in accordance with the rest of the world’s comfort level. I don’t know, man. I guess that concept has never really seemed all that attractive to me.

Whatever your vision is: Lock it in.  Write it down.  Make sure it finds it’s way in front of your face every single day–multiple times per day if possible. And then get your ass to work.

Your dreams will always be challenged…by friends, family and foes alike.  But anything that stands between you and that end goal has rendered itself irrelevant.   You have to believe that.  Otherwise your dreams are what become irrelevant.   And damn, that’s a pretty sad thought.

Growth means change.

Change is hated.

Embrace the hate….and rise above



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Ray Rice, Jalen Richard and an old grumpy white guy: Part 4

Ray eventually got me to budge on the Jalen situation, but it would be on my terms.  Ray told Jalen that we were a go, so Jalen texted me to schedule training.  He was excited to come down to San Diego and get to work.  I still wasn’t taking Jalen seriously.  I told him that if he wanted to train with me, he would have to take his ass all the way to Baltimore.  That place will break people.  If you’ve lived your whole life in somewhere respectable, you can not survive living in Baltimore. There is a 0% chance.  It’s not even a discussion.  So if this persistent mother fucker wanted to train with me, I was taking his ass to the northeast.  The way I saw it, he would quit in two days and we’d never have to train together again.  My real hope was that he wouldn’t book the trip at all.  Unfortunately, Jalen sent me his flights to Baltimore within hours of our conversation.

When Jalen landed in Baltimore, he called me and said that he was on his way to the gym.  It was 8pm and my pessimism was only growing.  Until a pro athlete actually shows up at your gym in front of your face, none of that chatter means shit.  They are the least accountable people on the planet.  I still assumed it was a 50/50 chance he showed.  Thirty minutes later, a red Camaro pulled up in the parking lot of Sweat.  I watched the car door swing open.

“OK”, I thought.  It’s time to see what this prick is all about.

Seconds later, a short stocky black dude in a yellow long sleeve tee and black shorts walked through Sweat’s front door.  “Kyle?”, he asked.  “Yea, man”, I responded.  Jalen extended his hand and said, “Jalen Richard. Thanks for setting this up. Sorry for being late.”  In a moments time, Jalen showed that he was both grateful and accountable.  Now he had caught my attention.   I turned, started walking towards the turf and said, “Alright.  Let’s get to work.” Surprised, Jalen responded, “Oh….we working out?”

“Yea, man”, I said. “We’re not here to compare fucking horoscopes.”

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Ray Rice, Jalen Richard and an old grumpy white guy: Part 3

Jalen started the 2016 NFL season as an undrafted rookie free agent with the Oakland Raiders.  He had no contract and no guarantees.  After a productive training camp and pre-season, he earned a spot on Oakland’s 53-man active roster. That is so unbelievably hard to do.  Undrafted rookie free agent.  That means you are just a body…nothing more.  Teams literally bring you in to practice against the people who actually matter.  After training camp, undrafted free agents return home battered, beaten and unemployed.  Apparently, Jalen didn’t see it that way.  He saw a sliver of hope when the Raiders invited him to training camp….and then he proceeded to kick the door down.

After the season ended, I got a call from Ray.  He asked me to train Jalen.  I said, “NO”.  I wanted nothing to do with training professional athletes anymore.  That had been my life for damn near a decade and I had zero desire to go back.  I had trained over a hundred professional athletes. I had been offered positions with pro teams and elite universities.  I had been offered opportunities to train the best basketball players from across the globe.  I chose to walk away from that world when I was in the middle of taking it over.  In my eyes, I had nothing left to prove.  I also had nothing left to gain. Ray knew my story and my stance.  Regardless, he called and asked me to work with Jalen again. Ray prodded, “One time, KJ.  You can help this kid.”  I was tired of pushing back and conceded, “He gets one chance, bro.”  I thought I was Saint Fucking Nick for that concession.  Ray responded, “Bet” and swiftly hung up. You see, Ray was my homie.  He knew I was pissed about giving this whole thing a shot, but he had also just gotten the answer he wanted. He was sure to hurry his ass off the phone before I gained my moment of clarity.

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Ray Rice, Jalen Richard and an old grumpy white guy: Part 2

Fast forward.

During Week 1 of the ensuing NFL season, I was sitting down at a San Diego bar watching the Raiders play the Saints.  I see a Raiders running back take a hand off to the house.  75 yard touchdown.  I see the back of his jersey while he celebrates in the endzone……”Richard”.  NO FUCKING WAY.  I still didn’t know a damn thing about Jalen other than this: He went undrafted.  He sought help.  He got denied.  He still found his way.  That’s all any one person should really need to know about another human being.

I walked outside of the bar, took my phone out of my pocket and called Ray.  The kid had at least earned an introduction.  Ray was doing better at that point, but he still wasn’t out of the woods. When Ray picked up, I explained the entire story with Jalen.  Ray brightened up at the prospect of mentoring a young running back in the NFL.  I brightened up at the fact that I heard my homie sound energized again.  Maybe I should have made the introduction earlier.  Maybe I shouldn’t have made it at all.  I was nervous about bringing Ray back close to anything NFL related.  I contacted Jalen and said that I would make the intro if there was still interest.  Jalen was elated.  He could not WAIT to talk to Ray.  It was like telling a 9-year-old that you would introduce them to their favorite super hero.

Ray and Jalen began speaking consistently throughout the 2016 NFL season and they became very close.  I stepped away, let them do their thing and went back to focusing on my businesses. It was perfect.  Jalen was given the introduction to Ray. Ray was able to mentor again. And I didn’t need to be involved any longer.  Everybody wins.

My work was done…

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